Rock 'n Rollers Don't Bathe

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9-11
Up until this day all of the TV and radio PR about the 10th anniversary of 9-11 were really putting a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. But now that the day is here and I'm watching a bit of the reading of the names on television and I'm allowing myself to grieve. I was here when it happened. Ironically enough, I was working a freelance job in midtown recording a guy reading a book on tape for Stephen King's: Dark Tower series. Watching people read out the names of the people who died that day is bringing me to the brink of tears over and over again. Ten years ago, on the days immediately following the event, I was glued to my TV for hours on end. I used the event to lock out the rest of the wold. I was looking for some kind of reason and I almost went into a serious depression. Now it feels different. I rarely even think about it any more. If feels as if our anger has been diverted to the subway ambulance chaser ads soliciting 9-11 workers and downtown Manhattan Mosqe locations. Debates over the national debt and job loss have given us all a more tangible demon to fear for now.

The thing about memorials and funerals is that it's never the dead that make me lose it. It's watching the living and thinking about how they live with this memory for the rest of their lives. I remember at when my Grandma died the thing that made me really break down was watching my Grandpa and thinking about how sad his life will be. The man could barely make a can of soup for himself and he soon followed her less than 2 years later. My own personal experiences with death have taught me that mourning is only a part of the experience. But it's an important part. The only real way out of grief is learning to appreciate the greater sensitivity that we gain from a loss. Whether it's a death, or a break up, or a paper cut I believe seeing the value in a sensitivity to others and the world around you is the antidote for that pain. A lesson learned is the value in painful experiences. Watching people reading the names of their loved ones who have died makes me cry in many ways. Some break down on the podium and confess their sadness and loss. Some are composed and reserved. Some even share a light hearted memory to break the heavy mood. Many express regret for the children and grandchildren who the dead will never know. There are words of God and heaven. There is a limited amount of patriotism which I find refreshing. Occasionally, there is still a hint of anger in the form of the phrase "We will never forget." But I'm happy to report that the healing process is in effect here. And with time, hopefully, the pain will flow out of us like the the thousands of gallons of water into the center of the 9-11 memorial.

I wanted to say a couple of things about the memorial. When I first saw it I thought it was very depressing. A big black square, lined by the engraved names of the dead, surrounded by falling water that flows into a seemingly bottomless pit to the center of the earth. But the more I think about it the more I respect the memorial for the literal interpretation of this incident and the loss of innocence that that it brought to the United States. 9-11 is an enormous black hole in the fabric of this country. But it would be a shame to think of it as merely a tragedy. From the water springs life, growth, and a new sensitivity to the world. I see this as the true inspiration to honor those who sacrificed their lives on that day. So, I look at the memorial again. Why a black square? It seems so cold and hard. Typically most of our western memorials are done in a white stone and involve human if not organic type imagery to inspire life. Yes black often signifies darkness or uncertainty but it also signifies space and new frontiers. I start to think about other important big black, smooth angular things in this world and popular culture and architecture. I started thinking about the modern De Stijl and Bauhaus movements. I thought about the obelisk in the film 2001 A Space Odyssey. And then I started thinking about Mecca. Maybe that big recessed square is the place where the West finally starts to make a joint with the East? I don't know if this was in the minds of the designers but I think the memorial is an amazing example of our progress and sensitivity.

If anyone would like to share there thoughts or feeling about 9-11 or what I've said here. Please feel free. Peace and Love!
MMM