from my website



Recently some friends put together a night of performances and asked me to be a part of it.
I agreed to do it and showed up early to see the performer before me.
I played and then I watched the performer after me.
Then I watched the woman who was having her cd release show for about two songs and left.
I didn't see my other friends that played after that, which includes the people that invited me to perform.
Why did I leave?

There are some reasons---all conceivably lame.
One is I was hungry---quite hungry--and I have pretty unique ways of eating.
Nothing on the menu where I was at do I eat and though I had brought cashews and apples I was still interested in going home and making something.
Two is I am really into spending time alone and reading books.
Three is I have seen these folks numerous times and it was not as if it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity---though every show is unique and no minute ever repeats itself (and of course you never know how much longer you have to live--or how much longer they have).

Some people go to shows to be supportive, even if they would really rather be somehwere else.
I do this, but hardly ever.
I certainly would rather no one be at my show if that is the only reason they are there.
Come if you are truly interested, or would like to eat the food there--but please do not come see me play because you see it as being supportive when you aren't really into it.
Bottom line--it's condescending and insulting.
I do my share of politicking, especially at work (mainly at work), but not so much at Sidewalk Cafe.

The woman whose show I mostly missed has been booked by myself to perform the same night as me a month from now.
I pretty much always watch every performer that plays during the nights that I book.

Why do I spend so much time alone--running, sleeping, reading, eating, riding the train?
I don't know.
Generally I see the situation as one in which I have some unique things to do/learn/offer and I can't fully find out what they are without a high degree of reflection and self searching.
I choose to do this alone pretty regularly though I have shared times with others and learned a lot.
Mainly though I admit it's books and dvds and cds that I use quite a bit.

Maybe a lot of it is habit.
Hopefuly it's not self-protection and hiding.



MMM's picture

I think a lot of people run a similar dialog through their heads quite often. I've got no issues with it. I would never want someone, outside of family maybe, to feel obligated to witness my work. Though, I'm not opposed to promoting or even attempting to attract people. It's an interesting line.

Nice pic and thanks for sharing. Sometimes, it's feels a bit isolated here. Maybe good for you? It's nice to hear about what people are up to back East.

"Here to do great things."