Father's Day
Sun, 06/17/2012 - 10:39am
Happy Fathers Day to all the good Dads! Thought it might be interesting, in these shifting times, to discuss the role of the "Father." What makes a good Dad? Is it any different than what makes a good Mom? Are the gender distinctions necessary at this point? What if you feel like you have a crappy father or no father at all? Is this day a depressing reminder? I think it's true that we don't celebrate good parenting enough but, similar to holidays like Valentines Day or Veterans Day, reducing it to a single day runs the risk of making it seem trivial at times. Replacing Fathers and Mothers day with just a "Good Parents Day," okay give it 2 days (maybe a full week), might be a better idea. It is the most important job in the world after all.
Mon, 06/18/2012 - 10:56am
#2
I do not like days set aside
to honor parents, etc.
I like to celebrate birthdays sometimes, but not all this other stuff.
Student day, athlete day, blue collar worker day, pool players day---it's all unecessary
You could go on forever.
Mon, 06/18/2012 - 11:42am
#3
as a father....
I don't feel recognized on Father's Day. Nor do I feel I deserve to be, not yet. Maybe when Phoebe's in her 30's and happy with herself. Then I'll feel that I did something, brought a person to a place where she could take it from there and do her best for herself.
Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that I work brunch every goddamn Father's Day. I have to remember to stop doing that, but money money money.
What makes a good Dad? That's a question that no comment section could ever hope to address. But I'd say you have to walk that balance between teaching and setting an example, which are quite different things. Teaching your child something can sometimes create a rebellious countercurrent against your teaching, whereas just living your life can show them who you are, and what the consequences (good or bad) of that living are. Both are needed--teaching is an in-the-moment thing, and living is a long-trajectory thing.
For example, I credit both approaches with inculcating Phoebe with a refined appreciation for farts.
Tue, 06/19/2012 - 4:20pm
#4
Nice.
Nice.
Mon, 06/18/2012 - 11:50am
#5
I want to post something but
I want to post something but the baby keeps trying to close the laptop and is getting a little frustrated.
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:23am
#6
Fatherhood
Well, I know a bunch of folks consider Gandhi, John Lennon and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to all have been terrible fathers.
I disagree.
I say the highest service you can provide is to answer your call.
I know it's tough---not that I am a dad, but that's how I see it based on what is available to me.
Phoebe who?
Kreutz.
She's awesome.
Blue?
She's cool too.
Naturally, as some one who has never raised kids, I have a lot of opinions as to how to raise kids. But as to your point about what makes a good dad versus what makes a good mom, I do think that they are different. Not that there is a set difference, I guess, but that I think a good child-rearing partnership involves a division of labor. From what I've seen second hand, it's just such an overwhelming job that if two people can work on it together, it goes smoother and if they can have sort of set duties in the family, and everybody knows what they're doing, then that will help. Which is not to say that these duties need to be divided by gender, because of course same-sex couples can raise kids, same anybody else. But that, I think, they should try and divide things up by the parents' natural strengths and inclinations, whether they fit with gender-stereotypes or not, I guess?
From what I've seen though, I have no idea how single parents do it. Just watching my bro raise his kids and how sort of constantly exhausted he and his wife are, I can only imagine what it would be like if they didn't have eachother. So, single parents get should get both days, is what I'm saying. Because that seems impossible.
http://www.doctorsquid.com